Now come the dark days! Tonight, we stand upon the precipice of that most harrowing of dates: All Hallows' Eve! Spirits shall speak, the dead shall rise, and all manner of horrors will bump into the night, bringing untold gloom and misery into the world!

What few comforts we have we should do well to keep close to us. Family, hearth, home, light, good food, and good drink. These are the very things which to aside these nightmares! These are the very things which will bring us through the coming dark and into the brighter days yet ahead!

For my part, I keep all that bring me that sense of safety well at-hand during this season of ghoulish tidings and haunts. Though the cold and dark press against my window, I keep them at bay, if only for a little longer yet. The elixir housed safely within the can upon my table prohibits the horrors from entering my abode. See now the power of Fat Orange Cat's Cat-O-Lantern!

The fabled brewhouse of Fat Orange Cat has forever closed its gates of its picturesque grounds to the public who might once have traveled thither in desperate search of sanctuary. What disastrous occurrence befell the Connecticut brewery in the chill of December 2021! We may never fully learn the tale from its survivors. Though official missives from the farm are now few and far between, a few hardy souls persevere yet against whatever malicious forces have conspired against the brewery, ensuring production of their wares continues in the face of their thwarted demise.   

Thank God for those stalwart men and women who operate the beer cauldron still! It is through their valiant efforts alone that I have my potion with me this evening to deflect the howling monstrosities of the night! Cat-O-Lantern, that storied concoction of the imperial strength eight-percent alcohol by volume yet wrapped in the trappings of a brown ale, will see me through the witching hour, provided I keep some of the brew yet within by can. O that I should drink it all!

Hush! Did you see from the corner of your eye a shadow creep from the far side of the chamber? No? Perhaps it was merely some figment conjured up by my anxious imaginings. Regardless, let us turn now to the bouquet which wafts from my Cat-O-Lantern can! A haunting maltiness creeps across my nose, bearing notes of caramel and brown sugar. This is pursued by sharp and roasty coffee and harrowing, verdant hops.

My eyes did not deceive me! I fear that I only recognize that now, too late--for she draws near: Henrietta the Horrid! awakened once more from her long slumber! Thinking quickly, I thrust my beer before me, an offering, perhaps, for one as singular as her. She is distracted as she turns her visage from my person to the can. One, two, three, four, five whiffs does she give Cat-O-Lantern before a low, guttural growl is loosed from deep within the fires of her being. She springs away, returning to the darkness. My offering is accepted! I live to drink yet another beer. O, Henrietta!

From my can do I take a pull to fortify myself, to replenish the nerve I lost in that horrible encounter. I feel the essence of black coffee and dark chocolate caress my palate, imbuing me with strength. These mingle quickly with brown sugar extracts before being rushed with hops that haunt them long into the finish, where the potion blooms with alcohol warmth. A shiver runs down my spine, so I take a pull to stave it off. Then another, then another, and so on.

Each swig of the ale nips at me with a small, embracing bite. There is a full body upon this spectral beer, a healthy apparition standing against the wisps of the night.

Cat-O-Lantern is an invigorating elixir, comforting, even, despite the horrors of the season. I can feel my can growing lighter, but I care not. I cannot resist the call of the ale. Pull after pull, and soon, I realize the danger of my actions. My can is empty! I am left with but the ghost of an impeccable brown ale, a spectre of something which I would rate 10/10. But, now I must away! For the beer is gone and there is naught to protect me from the ghasts and ghouls but bed. To bed I go! Farewell, dear reader, and may you, too, escape the shadows lurking in the night!